marriage and family (Mt 19:1-15)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Psalm 135; Matthew 19:1-15


Sometimes I'm amazed at how our Scripture readings line up, either the readings themselves, or like the way today's gospel lines up with a secular holiday... Thank you for your prayers, the silent retreat was great. God met me, and I'm thankful.

I have a few comments about today's reading, but they will be limited mostly to casting a positive vision for disciples at Church of the Apostles. One of my most memorable sermons at St. James' (so people say) was from Mark's account (the gospel, that is) of this story... I don't want to fuel another lasting discussion (seriously, I still hear comments about it). This is an important subject, with a lot of emotional, physical, social, absolutely life-changing weight connected to it. Hence, the disciples' response after Jesus' comments that it would be better not to marry, and Jesus' summary about being eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom (when you look up the word "eunuch" also look up the word "hyperbole", :) ).

One last thing before my devotional for today: if you haven't checked out Dwight Pryor yet, I commend him. His ministry's website is www.jcstudies.com (stands for Jewish Christian Studies). This month's (and next month's) teaching is about divorce. I have not yet heard this one, but have heard his teaching on it in the past and it was excellent. (You have to become a member to download it, though there is no required charge to join.)

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Matthew begins a new section, again noted with his phrase "Now when Jesus had finished these sayings..." and again reporting Jesus healing large crowds. This section seems definitely connected to chapter 18, while introducing, or revisiting, themes of conflict, value, and cost. Note that the whole discussion about divorce is premised on the Pharisees coming up and testing him.

What is valuable in God's kingdom? How are we to treat the "weak" one? What kind of cost does that call for among disciples of Jesus? What place do the themes of chapter 18 - humbling ourselves, forgiveness, not causing a weak one to sin, seeking out a straying one, following a godly process of reconciliation, and experiencing Jesus in the midst of your union - have in this discussion? These are questions to keep in mind in thinking about divorce, NOT "how can I get away with it (and not go to hell)?"

Today's text speaks about wives and children, who did not have the value or strength of the man in Jesus' day. Jesus recognizes and elevates their value, and consequently explicitly and implicitly clarifies the kingdom way and kingdom cost (see italics in paragraph above).

As the Director of Spiritual Formation at Church of the Apostles, and as the pastor overseeing and encouraging our small group ministries, I want to share this; it's been stirring around in me for a couple of weeks - take it as a Valentine's Day gift.

For disciples of Jesus, our marriages can be our first "small group", and secondly, our families (ie. if there are children at home) can be our next small group.

By "small group" we mean an intentional gathering of 2 or 3 people to perhaps around 12, for the purpose of spiritual growth, worship,encouragement and accountability.

Having said that, most Christian wives reading this are going to think, "that's all I've ever really wanted..." And many Christian husbands are going to panic, or at least feel defensive. Please resist that response. Casting this vision is meant to unify and bless, not cause distress.

Again I'd say, if discipleship is a step-by-step journey walking with and after Jesus, then what's the next step? Do you pray together, every day? If not, how can you start in a way that works for both of you? Could you say the Lord's Prayer together? Could you sit silently and pray?

Secondly, do you have a time as a family when you worship together, just you and the kids? I don't mean bedtime prayers with each child, I mean, for example, around the table saying some prayers, reading the Bible, and daddy blessing each child and mommy too. Do you take advantage of all those opportunities, "when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise..." to diligently teach God's ways to your children, and just to talk of them (Deuteronomy 6:7)? It's possible (!) moms and dads. But you do have to start somewhere. (It will include all the promises you made when you presented your children to be baptized, including renouncing the world, the flesh, and devil... )

Brothers and sisters, we have a promise from the risen one. From the one who knows all of our stuff, all of our struggles and fears and temptations; the one who bore all the pain of sin, separation, and unforgiveness in his body on the cross. From the risen, victorious king; the Prince of Peace. From the third person in every Christian marriage, who makes two one. From him who humbled himself; from Immanuel:

"If two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."
(Matthew 18:19-20)


Give praise, O servants of the LORD,
who stand in the house of the LORD,
in the courts of the house of our God!
Praise the LORD, for the LORD is good;
sing praise to his hane, for it is pleasant!
For the LORD has chosen Jacob for himself,
Israel, as his own possession...
O house of Israel, bless the LORD!
O house of Aaron, bless teh LORD!
O house of Levi, bless the LORD!
[O house of ... the DiCristina's... bless the LORD!]
You who fear the LORD, bless the LORD!
Blessed be the LORD from Zion,
he who dwells in Jerusalem! [amidst and among his people]
Praise the LORD!
(Psalm 135)