hearing his voice

Thursday, April 2, 2009

[If I haven't heard from you that you read this blog, or visit it, I'd like to hear from you. It's meaningful to me, and helpful, but I'm evaluating whether I'll keep doing it after Lent. I'd especially like to hear from Church of the Apostles people. Thanks. markjdicristina@yahoo.com]

Jer. 26:1-16; Rom. 11:1-12; John 10:19-42

"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me." (John 10:27)

This verse is one of the main premises for John Eldridge's book, Walking with God. (and this theme is a recurring one in John 10) It's a good and important book, but does raise questions regarding what a "normal Christian life" looks like. Essentially it is a year long journal of his, with comment from John for the reader. In particular, a main theme in the book is hearing from God and wanting to hear from God - even for things like, "should our family go on this trip this weekend?"

Honestly, I started reading it and after about a quarter of it I put it down. Some of my concerns were as a pastor, that I was not comfortable with his encouraging people to listen for God's voice, with virtually no comment on discernment (he does address this later in the book); but also, it was cutting close to home. I wasn't sure I really wanted to hear from and submit to/ trust God with regard to some of the things in my life, like watching TV too much and chowing down on junk food. And what if God told me to do some big, uncomfortable thing? some huge, life adjusting call? some heart tearing selfless task?

Yes, I went back to reading it - because deep in my heart is the life and love of God. Because I do want to live in the freedom of the children of God. Because I do trust my Father, that he is good and for me, merciful and mighty.

I still have concerns about the book, and what to be expected as normal Christian living - I think we can become too introspective about this, obsessed and/or guilt ridden or silly. I wonder where being a mature and wise son or daughter to whom the Father says, "I've raised and trained you well, that is your decision. I love you and will be with you always, irregardless of what you decide." Or in the metaphor of John 10, when the shepherd lets the sheep just graze and walk around and get a drink... And at the same time, God sees what I can't see. And while, I don't think God wills to direct us around all evil and suffering in this world - I think he might want to direct us around, or even toward, some of it.

So yes, at any time, the ear of my heart ought to be attentive, soft and "directable", to hear Jesus call and say come, follow me this way. In the end, this whole chapter is not about the sheep. It's about the shepherd. It's about his voice. His goodness. His motivation and commitment to give life abundant. His attentiveness and power to protect so that nothing can snatch us out of his hand. And in the end, I think this is the upshot of Eldridge's book; as a friend told me in sharing why it meant a lot to her, it encouraged intimacy with God and this was healing for her. It instilled a desire and a freedom, a hopefulness and trust, that God loves us, is always thinking of and attentive to us, and wants to speak to our deep heart regularly.

Thanks be to God.